Two days ago my roommate, Jon, and I were sitting at our house, watching TV. It was about 10 p.m. when we saw several police cars race down our street. We both got up; asking each other what was going on and walked to the door. The unmistakable smell hit both of us as soon as the door opened, “fire,” Jon said. We could not see the fire from our front steps so we decided to walk down and see where it was. After only a block and a half we could see it; a large two level house, surrounded by emergency vehicles and completely wreathed in flames. The flames were so hot that a neighbor’s car parked at the next house had ignited and its headlights began popping and exploding with sparks just as we walked up.
I had never seen a house burn down and I found it an interesting site as I sat on the curb smoking cigarettes and watching the flames slowly engulf the house. I thought that I should feel sorry for whoever lived in the house, but I could see them standing with police and they all seemed fine. No one else looking at the fire seemed to feeling particularly sorry for them either. It seemed that since everyone could see that the owners of the house were fine, it allowed them to enjoy the spectacle of the house’s conflagration. And it was enjoyable; it was beautiful and awesome at the same time. Eventually the fire department showed up and quickly extinguished the fire and Jon and I returned to our house after carefully stubbing out our cigarettes.
I would like to see the scene of burning more clearly...the looks on people's faces, the light, smell etc. "Fine" is general, I would like to have more vivid imagery. The conflict of what you think you should feel versus what you actually feel is interesting.
ReplyDeleteI would also like to see a richer scene -- what the house looked like itself, how the fire began to distort it, etc. I like the idea that you and the roommate are just sitting on the curb, smoking cigarettes, and taking in the fire contemplating something so beautiful, yet so destructive at the same time.
ReplyDeleteThe little almost [is it subconscious?] waring about 'carefully stubbing our cigarettes' at the end is a nice touch. We're told that the house burning is 'beautiful' and 'awesome', but we aren't shown how it is beautiful or awesome. A little expansion on that could be nice, but otherwise the piece is good - it certainly does a good job of conjuring up the burning house, even without further description.
ReplyDeleteBe as careful with semicolons as you are with your cigarettes. The cigs are a nice ironic counterpoint. Wreathed in flames and headlights popping are good descriptions--perhaps a little more of that, and or some description of the owners and the crowd. Did this experience stay with you? Cause you to be more aware of fire hazards in your own place?
ReplyDeleteThis post reminded me of a piece I read called "The Accident." It's about a biker who crosses the street in front of a bus and gets ran over; the piece depicts the scene after of peoples conversations, the cleanup, and the day after. The focus was on perspective, what it means to who, so maybe you could work that in somehow?
ReplyDelete